Turning the Hearts of the Fathers

God has been speaking to me about so many things and it has been overwhelming. I have spent most of the last 30 years involve in ministry to kids in some fashion. At times I helped with youth ministry. Other times I led youth ministries or worked with CYCM to reach the kids in the community. In Guatemala, we worked a lot at our schools in Membrillal and Zapote and I got to build a lot of relationships with kids. I have loved every minute of ministering to kids even when they were angry or hard to deal with. I always believed that what I was doing had eternal value and even if I did not see fruit today, God would use my effort. I still believe that but God has been changing my thinking and what I see as the most important aspect of youth ministry lately.

While in school John Arnott spoke about the lack of fathers being the largest problem the world is facing. The likelihood of growing up in poverty and of becoming a criminal goes up drastically when dads are not present. Drug use and alcohol abuse are higher among kids from single family homes. Depression is higher for this group also. In every measurable and observable category, children without dads in the picture are more at risk. This does not mean that every dad is good to be around their kids or that every single mom is doing a horrible job. What is does mean is that kids take a lot of time and energy. One person, no matter how loving and diligent they are cannot do the job as well as two loving parents. God designed kids to have two parents because that is what it takes to give a sense of security and identity.

Many of the kids I have spent my time with over the last few years come from single parent homes. I am not pointing fingers or assigning blame on anyone. I have not lived in their homes. I also recognize that it would have been better for those kids to have 2 loving parents looking after them. That is not to say that their parents were loving, just that it would be better if they had been and that they were present and involved. That is a hard position to come to because there are so many variables that we have no control over. We can want that for kids, but we cannot make it happen.

What God has been speaking to me about lately has been dads. They are crucial to kids growing up and having a sense of identity and worth. We live in a society where even our last name comes from our dad. That speaks right to the heart of our identity. Unfortunately, many kids say their last name with shame or humiliation. They are not leaving a legacy or a good family tradition for their children. Many of the kids I know are just angry with their dads, and rightly so. What is the solution?

In 2 Cor 5:16-21, I think God addresses that very clearly. 2Co 5:16-20 ESV 16 From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. 17 Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. 18 All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; 19 that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. 20 Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God.

God sees things differently. He sees people through the cross. Their sin and brokenness do not define people to God. He created them with purpose and destiny. He saw them and knew them before the foundation of the world. He is telling us to see people through His eyes. He wants us to see what He loves about them and cause us to love that about them also. When we do, He gives us a ministry of reconciliation. As we begin to see the truth of a person, from the perspective of God, we can call them into a relationship with Him.

There are a lot of parents, dads especially that have been living with an ungodly view of themselves. They may have never expected a pregnancy. Maybe they were not stable or secure in their identity when children started coming. For whatever reason, they bailed out on their family. Somehow, they got the idea that they would all be better off going separate ways. They have not been there for their wives or girlfriends and they have not been there for their children. This becomes a never ending downward spiral. They start to blame their growing kids for not wanting to spend time with them and being disconnected without acknowledging that the process started with decisions that they made. There is plenty of pain and anger to go around. Finger pointing is the norm in these families, but it does not fix anything.

I believe God is saying it is time to start recognizing the real culprit. The devil hates you. He hates your kids. He hates your family. He will do all that is in his power to destroy you. He has limited authority, but he knows you and has seen who God created you to be. He has struck at the core of our identities. The kids are being targeted but it starts by attacking the identity of their dads. We need to start going after the hearts of the dads and speaking the truth of God to them. They are not the enemy. They are victims of the devil’s war on their family. They made bad choices but they were influenced by a crafty and smart enemy. They were not prepared to stand against an attack that they were not told was coming. The devil attacked their children by lying to the dads and pushing them away from their families.

It is time to say "no more". We must learn to see dads as God sees them. Their role in the family and in society is too important. We have to proclaim their God given identity at every opportunity. It is the one their families need them to live in. It is also more true about them than any other identity they may have adopted because it is the only one rooted in the truth. God sees them through the cross. In His eyes, they are already reconciled to Him.  He has a new identity and a new name to reveal to them. That does not mean they are saved or in relationship to Him, only that from His end, everything is in place for that relationship. Their sin and rebellion against God are all built on lies. He wants us to expose the lies and call them into life.

As the Church starts walking out the ministry of reconciliation and dads see themselves as God sees them, they will want to return to their families. They will want to look after the hearts of their wives and their children. They will live out of an identity that they will want to pass on. Children will understand that they have a heritage and an inheritance. Our job is to minister this reconciliation. It is to proclaim the truths of God. For too long, we have tried to shame men into being dads but that has backfired. They have felt the shame and run away. It is time to say that there is no more shame, only repentance leading to healing for dads and for their families. The cycle of lies and defeats is coming to an end because Jesus is pouring love into their hearts. They are DADs.

Pastor Mario's granddaughter Dulce. 

The better model of youth ministry God has been speaking to me about is wholistic. Kids are not whole while their families are broken. When dad is not there, a piece of their puzzle is missing. When we minister to kids, ignore the family and then send them home, we only create a sense of confusion for many of them. God loves me but my family is a mess. How do they reconcile these two contrasting ideas? The answer is that we run after the absent father, even the abusive father and we speak to them about the real identity that God has hidden in them. It has been stolen by a devil that hates them and by the blinding enticements of sin that entrap them. We proclaim the freedom that Jesus has purchased for them. We allow God to speak new identity into them even when nobody can see it because it is pushed so deep below the surface. We pray for insight and wisdom into the true identity God has and wants them to receive so that they can be godly dads. Lastly, we pursue the hearts of dads without fear or hesitation because we know it is the heart of God for them. 

Healed dads will begin to lead healed families. They will have children with identity that can walk in the purpose of God. They will be able to love freely and have deep, intimate relationships because God has set them free. Hiding and shame will no longer be part of the family life. Children will walk in destiny and become all God has for them to be.

Many of you are skeptical. You do not believe that God can, or that He desires to heal these families but Jesus, repeating the words from Malachi said that He would come and turn the hearts of the fathers to the children. Mal 4:6 and Lk 1:17. Lets pray that today He would do that now and then run after the absent, broken, addicted and lost fathers so they can be the dads they are called to be.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Edl-2HUZYSQ Listen to this on YouTube and let God begin to reveal the depths of His love for you and for every person that you encounter.

What I Have Learned in 7 Weeks

I have been in school for a few weeks now. As a matter of fact, the classroom time is almost over. We have on week of classes left. It has flown by. We have been frozen at times as the temperatures indoors hovered just above the freezing mark and other days we have endured sweltering heat, both indoor and out. We came here a group of students and staff that did not know anybody and we have grown to love each other and be family. In less than 2 weeks we head to Morelos for the Heidi Baker outreach then 5 of us split off from the rest of the class and go to Juarez for 2 weeks of outreach and ministry there. It will be a hard day when we start separating but I have a suspicion that it will not be the last time I see these people. I believe that many of them will be popping in and out of my life for many years to come.

When I came to Reynosa, I had not idea what to expect. I knew the reputation of the city but that was it. The school is brand new and we are the first class here. It is similar to other Iris schools but has a little different flavor because of location. I knew that there would be lots of time in the classroom and suspected that we would do some outreach but everything has gone so much different than I would have imagined. It has truly been a life altering experience. That phrase even has taken on a new depth and richness to me. It really does mean that our lives are on the alter and waiting for the consuming fire.

I assumed that we would spend hours and days being saturated in Scripture and truth and that did happen but that was only one part of the equation. The truth is that each of us was here to have our hearts broken, to see our own brokenness and hurts, to experience the forgiveness of God, be delivered from shame and be free to let the Holy Spirit lead. I have learned how limited that I was by things that I did not even know I carried. I was guarded and protected myself at the expense of fruitfulness, life and joy. In order to not be hurt, I closed off areas of myself to people and used humor or withdrawal to protect myself from entering into the hurt and being free. I hid things in my past because of shame. I carried so much that it kept me from living the abundant life that Jesus promised.

Over the first months of the school I spent more time crying on the carpet than anything. People would give a teaching and God would just gently say “This is for you. Let me free you.” Every time that I responded, He touched me and healed another are of my life. He set me free and replaced my guilt, sorrow and shame with love, forgiveness, life, peace and joy. It was about a month of this cycle repeating every few days. I would hear, God would call, I would respond and He would bring life to a barren place. I was beginning to wonder if that cycle would ever end but at the same time loved the new freedoms that were coming and learned that confession really is good for the soul It is scary but it kills the flesh and grows the spirit.

This last week has been quite the opposite in many regards but has been just a continuation of the process. Last Friday night we traveled to a town called Sabinas Hidalgo to work with a couple of Churches and our missionary family from Nuevo Larado. There was a presence of God that was tangible from the very beginning. People there were hungry to see God move in their lives, their Church and the city. That hunger brought such a charged atmosphere, like God was just waiting to reveal Himself, and that He did in power and glory. We prayed for people and He brought freedom but in the middle of praying for a man, God asked me about the gold in my own heart. He asked me if I had considered the need to mine the gold in me, to let Him reveal what of Himself that He had put in me at creation. About that time, one of our long term missionaries started praying for me to experience the presence of God in a new way, in His power and freedom. My life has been so different this week that I see the presence of God and hunger for Him increase each day and I see Him coming to meet that hunger every time. He prayed and I had a hard time staying on my feet for the next 2 hours. When I was standing, I was dancing. I do not like to dance but I have been doing it a lot in the last week as Jesus keeps bringing more freedom and joy.

After that, things got really crazy. I have been experiencing new levels of joy. I have had a desire to pray in tongues and began to really see how God uses that to break down our barriers to pray impossible prayers and set people free. I believed in the gift and have experienced it but did not see the daily benefit of using it. Now I understand that God uses it to declare things into ourselves and others to break chains off of people’s lives. He prays through us. When we give Him our mouth, He fills it with His purposes and us speaking it is entering agreement with Him even though we do not necessarily know what we are agreeing about. It is just giving Him our consent to do what He wants to do. He does not need it but He still often waits for it anyway. As I pray for people, I see chains come off. I see them filled with life, laughter and joy. God is just releasing Himself to them and I get to stand in the middle and see it happen.

I also am hearing the voice of God so much more clearly and seeing His activity much more clearly. He desires to show us what it is that He is doing and He shows whenever we will watch. The key is learning to discern what He is doing and being willing to obey whatever He shows us to do. I used to think I needed to remain in control, to be dignified to not bring dishonor to Jesus. Now I realize that the only way I can dishonor Him is to hold on to control and guard myself from pain. I can enter into pain because Jesus is there. I can feel joy because I am open to wherever He leads. I can live life because I am becoming fearless.

We need to be rooted in the Scripture. It is our guidebook for life. Truth is revealed to us in it and cannot be ignored or neglected. At the same time, if we are not walking continually in encounter with Jesus, we do not have a relationship with Him. We only have knowledge. They are not the same no matter what we want to believe. Knowledge is necessary but so is experience. It is when we experience Him, surrender to His love and set our will to obey that His power begins to flow through us. As I pray for people, I am expecting freedom and joy to come. I am seeing it right in front of my eyes as people’s faces change. God is good and He is love. He is filling me with joy and it is pouring out to others.

I will be back in Morris soon and would love a chance to talk to you. If you are in Guatemala or somewhere else, feel free to contact me through Whatsap, facebook or email me at thegeokr@yahoo.com. I welcome questions or look forward to talking anytime.

2 Weeks In

I am just writing a short blog post to let you know what is going on with me and the school. The first two weeks have been amazing but not necessarily in the ways that I expected. God has been dealing with some deep issues in my heart, a couple that I knew and several that were hidden even to me. He has been showing me wrong motives in my heart, wrong understandings of who God in and wrong understandings of my place in His heart. As we have talked about, prayed through and seen God bring healing and new insights into these things, it has been very freeing.

The thing God has spoken to me most is that He really loves me. I, like most people would have always said that I knew that. I have read the words and believed them yet I often lived contrary to that. I based my sense of worth on accomplishment and felt like that is what God demanded. Jesus set a high standard for living in the Kingdom and then said the Church would do the things that He did and greater. That is a lot of pressure if you feel like it falls on you to make it happen. I was used to being the constant server. Whenever there was a need I felt like it fell on me to do something to help with it. My value in interpersonal relationships came from how well I served people. This made me tired and easily frustrated with people. I have done all of this and they don't appreciate it or me. I would never have voiced these things but in my heart it was a hidden stronghold. Fortunately I have a discerning pastor in Life Church Morris that knew I needed to be away in a place that God could deal with things in my life.

I have been learning the value of serving with Jesus and a place of confidence in going with Him as opposed to doing things for Him. One makes me tired. The other allows me to always be in a place of rest and lets me obey the call of Jesus to abide in His love. When I serve just from a need to serve, for whatever reason, I am not in a place of being empowered by God. I begin serving from my own strength and that is a finite resource. If Jesus could only do what He saw the Father doing, how much can I accomplish? I am learning to never do anything that takes me out of the place of rest in Jesus. If He is doing it, that rest will go into the work but if He is not, it will just be work.

I m hoping by now that you are questioning your motives for serving God. Are you walking in close relationship daily with Jesus? Are you seeing Holy Spirit actively moving in the work you are doing? Do you sense His peace or do you feel a need to make things happen? Are you content if God leads you to just spend a day, a week or a month waiting in His presence and doing nothing else? Do you get easily upset when nobody joins you to help in what you are doing? Do you need to be recognized for your work, knowledge or accomplishment? I answered most of these things in a way that made me realize I was trying to gain my identity by how much I did for God. There was no rest or peace in it and there was little fruit because it was limited to my strength to produce.

I think that it is good to examine where we are every once in a while and let our motives and heart condition to be exposed. I often do not like what is pulled up but I know this, I want to live as a son of God more than anything else. I want it more than personal accomplishment, acknowledgment, money or even ministry. I am happy to be in a place that is helping each of the students to walk through this process. If you think that this process is something that you might also need to go through in order to learn to live as a Child of God, let's talk. He loves you and wants to take you along on His adventure. He does not expect you to figure out your own. His is big enough for all of us.

A Parting Note

I wanted to quickly share a couple of thoughts with you and ask you to be praying about them as I head to the school in Reynosa. I will be in class until March 20 and then outreach in Mexico City and Juarez until April 12. Then I will fly back to Chicago for a few weeks with lots of exciting stories to tell of how God moved.

I am not sure about you but when I hear great stories about how God is moving, I am often excited but that excitement is tempered wit ha healthy dose of skepticism. I long to see God move in these ways and do believe that He desires to move also. So, why do we not see it? Why does our "normal" Christian life so often look as powerless in the face of dire circumstances as the world looks? If God wants to heal, deliver and set free, why does it not happen? Why does half the Church point to Jesus' rebuke of the Pharisees as they sought a sign for the answer to this question and then come to the conclusion that sign and wonders are for a different time? They would often even say that we were wrong to look and ask God for signs and miracles. I have come to a much different conclusion lately though.

I believe that my tongue and my mindset are the two biggest reasons that I do not see God move more in signs and miracles. First I say the tongue because I realize that I so often use it for exactly the opposite of what God tells me to use it for. I easily fall into grumbling and complaining when things are not working to my satisfaction. We are told to praise in all circumstances. We are told to be thankful when we lift our requests to God. Too often though, I find myself complaining about how things are going or whining because they are not progressing according to my plan. My tongue is a battleground and I forget that it needs to be conquered to live in step with God's purposes. It can do more damage than I can do with my physical strength.   

[Jas 3:5-6 ESV] 5 So also the tongue is a small member, yet it boasts of great things. How great a forest is set ablaze by such a small fire! 6 And the tongue is a fire, a world of unrighteousness. The tongue is set among our members, staining the whole body, setting on fire the entire course of life, and set on fire by hell.

Whining and complaining go along with a wrong mindset. I often feel the need to control circumstances. I want to dictate how things are going to happen to God instead of trusting His love and goodness to do what is best. I want my way. I do this because, in my mind, God is often too small or too uncaring to be trusted with the outcome. I have set myself up to judge the motives of God. Not only is that pride, which puts me at odds with God but it is also a lack of faith because I do not trust Him to be Lord of every circumstance.

As I go to the school, I am asking God to reveal and break every area of pride from my life. I am asking that He help me repent of a desire to be in control and the tendency to grumble and complain when things are not going my way. Most of all, I am asking Him to help me see the sufficiency of Jesus and His surpassing goodness in my life. I want to know Him as enough, as my true reward. I want to know what it means to be completely surrendered to Him without worrying about the cost. I want to live a life in love with Jesus so that others can see Him in me. I want a heart full of praise and gratitude as I learn to spend time gazing on the goodness of God. I want to learn to cease from my own striving to learn to rest in Him. Finally, I want to live in a place where people encounter Jesus because I have spent time in His presence and been fully transformed. 

I am praying these things for myself and ask you to pray them for me. I believe that we serve a God who wants to transform the world with His love and He wants us to walk that out with Him. We have a Father that loves His children. We have a groom that died for His bride so that He could lead her into life and inheritance. We have a Holy Spirit living in and on us so that we can discern the leading of God and be at rest in Him. Please pray this for me when you think of it. 

See you in the spring as I come to share new life and rebirth with you all.