The Father's Heart

Have you ever felt completely inadequate for the things you feel like God is placing before you? Do you feel like you are being called to things that are so far beyond you that they are impossible? Do you sometimes feel like an impostor in your Christian walk, like if others knew the real you, you would be finished? I think that all of us have faced these insecurities at one time or another, maybe it was not in the Church or ministry. Maybe it was on the job or in an area that you volunteered. There is a common theme that seems to run throughout our inner narrative. "Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes?" I think that this inner dialogue may be one of the most destructive things in our lives. After all, how we think about ourselves goes a long way in determining the limits we will self impose. I hear many people say that they are not called to missions but what most of them really mean is that they feel inadequate for that task. The truth is that all believers in Jesus are called to missions, for some it is in their neighborhood or workplace, for others it is in their local Church and for some, it is far from home, friends and family. The other truth is that none of us is capable of fulfilling the task, but the Jesus living in us is more than able.

I have been thinking about this a lot over the last few months. I have considered the different ways that a appraise my own value and usually I measure my worth in the ability to accomplish though I might never admit it to others. (until writing this) My pastor back in the States has been challenging me on this. He has been encouraging me to find my identity outside of work and achievement and to rest in the work of Jesus. Also he has been encouraging me to be in a place of receiving ministry rather than feeling like I need to work and give all of the time. Because of this, you may have noticed an absence of blog updates for the last 2 months. It seemed that while I was in the States, I spent much time looking for tasks to finish while there and he spent time reminding me of my need to receive.

The task that I see next on my plate is much bigger than me. God has continually been reminding me of the widow and the orphan. We are called to reach out to them with the love of Jesus and help them find identity and family in Him. As I have talked with friends and listened to their hearts, I am realizing that his task is much larger than I would have ever thought. While the number of actual orphans may or may not be accurate as the U.N. reports, the number of children and adults living as orphans is huge. There are millions of kids growing up without any real nurture from parents or a responsible adult. It is common in many places for children to be seen fending for themselves at 5 years old. Parents, dealing with the difficulties of a life of poverty often choose survival over nurturing. This is not to condemn the mothers. They often are doing all they can just to provide a little food and a place to sleep. This is the place that we, the Church are called to step in.

The task is huge. The number of latchkey and unattended kids is beyond our ability to comprehend. There are millions in the world, thousands in Guatemala and they are growing up, at least the ones that do not die in infancy, to at best work menial jobs for little money and repeat the same cycle of poverty. At worst they are becoming the gang members, drug dealers and prostitutes that are behind much of the crime and violence that have become common. People that have grown up with no sense of worth will look for significance wherever it can be found. Unfortunately they find it in sex, money, drugs, violence, extortion, intimidation and murder. The gangs are full of people that were recruited because they were easy targets. Nobody had told them that they had value and now someone is offering the money and respect on the street. All of a sudden they have significance and an identity.
Fortunately, God loves them and the message of salvation is for them. The best way to end gang recruitment and dry up membership is to introduce potential members to a loving Father before they join. I believe God is just looking for people that will say yes, we will carry His love to them and help them to find their true identity.

I have spent  much of the last month resting, reading and focusing on who I am in Jesus, the identity that He wants me to carry into the world so that He can be seen. I have now applied to Kaleo Iris School of Missions in Reynosa, Tamaulipas, Mexico, on the Texas-Mexico border. It is my desire to learn to minister the heart of a Father to the orphans and the orphaned hearts of the world. I also realize that I cannot do that effectively without and close intimate relationship with God. Only as the perfect Father fathers us can we share His heart with others. Only as I learn to really walk in the identity of sonship will I have the confidence to be who He is calling me to be. This school lasts for 2+ months and then there is an 18 day outreach into Mexico. My intention is to return to Guatemala after this with a fresh view of Father's heart to minister here.

I applied to this school because I believe God is calling me there. I see the need to be prepared and to have my life so deeply rooted in the love of Jesus that I can be fearless wherever He may lead. My deposit has been sent in but now I have to send in another $3,600 by Dec 13 and I have to buy plane tickets, continue to pay my health insurance, rent and other bills in Guatemala and cover all of my personal expenses for the next 5 months. I am praying for $8,000 between now and the end of the year so that all of the expenses can be dealt with before I leave the U.S. This would be a huge miracle to me but I know God is fully able to provide every need. At the same time, I am praying for the provision needed for 2018 so that finances never burden the work that God desires to do. I am asking that you would pray with me and ask for God's provision and for His blessing on everything that He wants to accomplish in the coming year.

I am excited for the next chapter. I do not have a clue as to how God is going to move in my life but I know that He is looking for available vessels to reveal His glory through. He wants people to encounter His love and I want to have greater encounters with Jesus so that He can use me to show Himself to the wounded and broken, to the orphan and widow.  I want to be able to be fearless and even reckless  in my pursuit of God and then to be fearlessly and recklessly available to Him as He desires to make His love known.

If you would like to help support me and the plans I feel God is leading me into you can send checks to the address below.

Life Church Morris
P.O. Box 679
Morris, IL 60450
Write Mission San Lucas in the memo line, not my name

If you would like to know more, feel free to contact my by email, What'sApp or Facebook.
Thank you

Becoming

For the last few months I have been on an adventure that is changing and transforming my thought process. I am still not sure of the final outcome but I know where it has brought me as of today. I have shared little bits and pieces of it before but would like to  share a little more today. This change is beginning to alter the course that I thought I was on and I believe, in the end, will alter it more.

A few months ago I changed my blog name to Papa Jorge. That name grew out of a conversation that I had with a leader in Life Church St  Charles. He was sharing what he saw as a God given identity for me. It took a while to use this as a name but a few months ago, my pastor in Morris, Jonathan Horsfall asked me what my identity  was. Those were not his exact words but that was his question. Who is it that God has called me to be? This reminded me of the words from the leader in St Charles and so I changed my blog name even though I did not have a clear answer at that time.

Over the last few months, I have prayed about this question and many other things. As I have begun to frequently pray the prayers I shared with you previously in Eph 1-3 God started speaking to me and giving clarity to the answer. I want to encourage you to reread that blog "A  Challenge" and start praying these things for yourself and your community of believers. I believe that it is life transforming and eye opening. God has been speaking to me almost daily about some aspect of these verses and as He does, it opens a new understanding of identity.

I shared that God spoke to me about the orphans but this week, he took me deeper into that. He spoke to me about my identity as an orphan and His desire for me to be a son. In Jesus, He has already made me a son but Rom 12:1+2 speaks of our transformation coming as our minds are renewed. There are a lot of wrong ways of thinking that I had incorporated into my life. I had believed a lot of lies and reacted at in a wrong manner to most authority figures in my life. I had adopted a general mistrust of authority and in many ways had lived as the orphan myself. I am so grateful  to Jonathan for walking me through some of these issues in prayer. Through confession and repentance, I started to long for intimacy with the Father that I had often run away from. I mistrusted His motives towards me and felt valued by Him only when I performed to a certain, artificial standard that existed only in my mind and moved frequently. I began to realize His desire for fellowship with me in new and exciting ways.

What I am starting to realize is that to be Papa Jorge is to stand in the place of Father to lost and hurting people. In order to do that, I have to have the identity of son. That does not come from my will or and act of choosing to become. It only comes from being lost in Father. Jesus came to bring us into family. Through the cross, He gave us identity. We had a wrong identity from birth, given us by a fallen world. When we are brought into the family of God, He changes our understanding of who we are but he also changes our relationship to authority. (John 17:20-21 ESV - 20 "I do not ask for these only, but also for those who will believe in me through their word, 21 that they may all be one, just as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be in us, so that the world may believe that you have sent me.) When we know our Father, we know that we can trust Him and that His plans are good. As a son, I no longer have to make my own way. I walk with the Father and His authority surrounds me. His provision is enough for me and His purposes are enough for me. I am not on my own. I am in a family and under the authority of a Father. I do not have to make things happen, only walk with Him and obey. All the rest is a result of His goodness. I get to enjoy the full benefits of sonship.

One of my favorite verses is Rom 8:19 ESV - 19 For the creation waits with eager longing for the revealing of the sons of God. This verse has a now and not yet aspect to it. Creation suffers when we are not living out the relationship that we are created for. We were made to live as sons and creation is longing for that to be revealed. While we know that we do not see the fullness of the Kingdom of God here on the earth, we also know that we are being transformed from glory o glory. In this transformation process, God is revealing a little more of Himself to the world moment by moment and answering more of the longing of creation. The restoration of creation is happening little by little as sons are being revealed in the earth.

I believe that the crisis we see of orphaned, abused and neglected kids, along with the rampant use of abortion as birth control are things God wants to end because every child is created as an image bearer of His. To allow the destruction of these children, either in or out of the womb is to destroy what God has created with innate and immeasurable value. The Father has a plan for ending this destruction and restoring the dignity of all life. It starts with the Church learning their identity and to stop living as servant, slaves, sinners and orphans. It will happen when we realize the authority of the Father, vested in sons and daughters. When we know who we are, we gain our voice and speak to the injustice of the fallen world that we live in. We can begin to manifest the Kingdom, as Jesus prayer on earth as it is in Heaven. It is not our work that will do this but rather it is the Father revealing His identity through the body, His children.

I do want to begin to work more with the neglected, abused, abandoned and orphaned. Even more, I believe that the father is calling me to this work. I am planning and praying about how this is going to look. I will start where I am, in San Lucas and ask God to lead me where He wants me to be. I believe that He desires to end this pain and suffering through the Church. I do not know my role in it all yet but will be talking to some friends and people that work in these areas after I get back. I believe that He is saying aim high and trust. He does not want to help a few children but to change the way that we all deal with the need and to show us that His abundant provision is enough to meet the needs foe all.

I am asking that you would join me in praying for wisdom and direction. Talk to me if God gives you insight and wisdom. Consider partnering in the future to see children delivered into the arms of a loving Father, orphans set in families and the Church walking in the power and authority that God has for us.

Col 1:9-13 ESV - 9 And so, from the day we heard, we have not ceased to pray for you, asking that you may be filled with the knowledge of his will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding, 10 so as to walk in a manner worthy of the Lord, fully pleasing to him: bearing fruit in every good work and increasing in the knowledge of God; 11 being strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy, 12 giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light. 13 He has delivered us from the domain of darkness and transferred us to the kingdom of his beloved Son,