The Father's Heart

Have you ever felt completely inadequate for the things you feel like God is placing before you? Do you feel like you are being called to things that are so far beyond you that they are impossible? Do you sometimes feel like an impostor in your Christian walk, like if others knew the real you, you would be finished? I think that all of us have faced these insecurities at one time or another, maybe it was not in the Church or ministry. Maybe it was on the job or in an area that you volunteered. There is a common theme that seems to run throughout our inner narrative. "Am I good enough? Do I have what it takes?" I think that this inner dialogue may be one of the most destructive things in our lives. After all, how we think about ourselves goes a long way in determining the limits we will self impose. I hear many people say that they are not called to missions but what most of them really mean is that they feel inadequate for that task. The truth is that all believers in Jesus are called to missions, for some it is in their neighborhood or workplace, for others it is in their local Church and for some, it is far from home, friends and family. The other truth is that none of us is capable of fulfilling the task, but the Jesus living in us is more than able.

I have been thinking about this a lot over the last few months. I have considered the different ways that a appraise my own value and usually I measure my worth in the ability to accomplish though I might never admit it to others. (until writing this) My pastor back in the States has been challenging me on this. He has been encouraging me to find my identity outside of work and achievement and to rest in the work of Jesus. Also he has been encouraging me to be in a place of receiving ministry rather than feeling like I need to work and give all of the time. Because of this, you may have noticed an absence of blog updates for the last 2 months. It seemed that while I was in the States, I spent much time looking for tasks to finish while there and he spent time reminding me of my need to receive.

The task that I see next on my plate is much bigger than me. God has continually been reminding me of the widow and the orphan. We are called to reach out to them with the love of Jesus and help them find identity and family in Him. As I have talked with friends and listened to their hearts, I am realizing that his task is much larger than I would have ever thought. While the number of actual orphans may or may not be accurate as the U.N. reports, the number of children and adults living as orphans is huge. There are millions of kids growing up without any real nurture from parents or a responsible adult. It is common in many places for children to be seen fending for themselves at 5 years old. Parents, dealing with the difficulties of a life of poverty often choose survival over nurturing. This is not to condemn the mothers. They often are doing all they can just to provide a little food and a place to sleep. This is the place that we, the Church are called to step in.

The task is huge. The number of latchkey and unattended kids is beyond our ability to comprehend. There are millions in the world, thousands in Guatemala and they are growing up, at least the ones that do not die in infancy, to at best work menial jobs for little money and repeat the same cycle of poverty. At worst they are becoming the gang members, drug dealers and prostitutes that are behind much of the crime and violence that have become common. People that have grown up with no sense of worth will look for significance wherever it can be found. Unfortunately they find it in sex, money, drugs, violence, extortion, intimidation and murder. The gangs are full of people that were recruited because they were easy targets. Nobody had told them that they had value and now someone is offering the money and respect on the street. All of a sudden they have significance and an identity.
Fortunately, God loves them and the message of salvation is for them. The best way to end gang recruitment and dry up membership is to introduce potential members to a loving Father before they join. I believe God is just looking for people that will say yes, we will carry His love to them and help them to find their true identity.

I have spent  much of the last month resting, reading and focusing on who I am in Jesus, the identity that He wants me to carry into the world so that He can be seen. I have now applied to Kaleo Iris School of Missions in Reynosa, Tamaulipas, Mexico, on the Texas-Mexico border. It is my desire to learn to minister the heart of a Father to the orphans and the orphaned hearts of the world. I also realize that I cannot do that effectively without and close intimate relationship with God. Only as the perfect Father fathers us can we share His heart with others. Only as I learn to really walk in the identity of sonship will I have the confidence to be who He is calling me to be. This school lasts for 2+ months and then there is an 18 day outreach into Mexico. My intention is to return to Guatemala after this with a fresh view of Father's heart to minister here.

I applied to this school because I believe God is calling me there. I see the need to be prepared and to have my life so deeply rooted in the love of Jesus that I can be fearless wherever He may lead. My deposit has been sent in but now I have to send in another $3,600 by Dec 13 and I have to buy plane tickets, continue to pay my health insurance, rent and other bills in Guatemala and cover all of my personal expenses for the next 5 months. I am praying for $8,000 between now and the end of the year so that all of the expenses can be dealt with before I leave the U.S. This would be a huge miracle to me but I know God is fully able to provide every need. At the same time, I am praying for the provision needed for 2018 so that finances never burden the work that God desires to do. I am asking that you would pray with me and ask for God's provision and for His blessing on everything that He wants to accomplish in the coming year.

I am excited for the next chapter. I do not have a clue as to how God is going to move in my life but I know that He is looking for available vessels to reveal His glory through. He wants people to encounter His love and I want to have greater encounters with Jesus so that He can use me to show Himself to the wounded and broken, to the orphan and widow.  I want to be able to be fearless and even reckless  in my pursuit of God and then to be fearlessly and recklessly available to Him as He desires to make His love known.

If you would like to help support me and the plans I feel God is leading me into you can send checks to the address below.

Life Church Morris
P.O. Box 679
Morris, IL 60450
Write Mission San Lucas in the memo line, not my name

If you would like to know more, feel free to contact my by email, What'sApp or Facebook.
Thank you

Serving with Passion

I have shared with you many of the projects that we are doing. I have written about houses, stoves, schools, clinics, Churches and hydroponics. I have tried to keep you informed of the things that we are doing but today I wanted to talk about motivation. The why behind all of the whats. What is the motivation for leaving the comforts of Illinois and my family and friends here.That is a good question and some days I ask myself that. I will try and share it as    best I can and pray that you are grabbed with a vision for service yourself.

Let me start by saying I do not love every aspect of the work that we do in Guatemala. I hate spiders, snakes, rats, scorpions and roaches but we encounter them frequently. I do not like to be covered in dirt and muddy sweat. Adventure is overrated when it means you could be stuck overnight away from your bed. 100 lb bags of cement are heavy. There are lots of things that we do on a regular basis that are not high on my list of desired tasks for the day. So WHY do I go?

When I get up many mornings I know the work ahead and I know that it is going to be a difficult day. I want to role over and pretend to not be there but that is not an option. I get up and I go to breakfast with the team. Hopefully it was after spending a little quality time along with God but that does not always happen. It is during breakfast that my perspective on the day changes. I begin to see that there is a purpose and a plan for today that has been taking shape since the beginning of time. Today, God is going to show His love to somebody through this group of people that I am with and I am going to get to be part of that. I am much more excited about the day at this point.

When I start focusing on people, God's love, and being a son to my Father the day takes on a special importance. Who knows, maybe that day there will be a breakthrough of love to one of the kids that I have seen countless times. Possibly God will use our team to bring healing and restoration to a person that has been hurt and abused. What if today is the day that someone we minister to with our words or actions would lay down their life at the cross of Jesus and receive all that He has for them. Today takes on a new meaning and importance that is easy to forget in the business of the work we are doing.

When I let God show me the bigger picture I develop a passion for what we are doing. I have God's heart for the people that we are serving. I see myself as blessed for being able to see the love of God manifest through His children to people that He wants to reveal Himself to. I become passionate about what we are doing because my Father is passionate about it. I get to reap rewards that are beyond what I can comprehend because I am working with Jesus and watching Him move in people's lives.

God has called us all to serve Him but not as slaves. He wants us to see the big picture and know what He is doing. He wants to ignite His passion in us for those that He came to save. He wants to partner with us to make His name known. God wants to give us an inheritance and fill our lives with brothers and sisters to share it with. God does not want us to spend our lives in meaningless tasks but wants us to see that whatever He has called us to should be used to draw people to Him. If you are a teacher, carpenter, mechanic or garbage ruck driver, God wants to ignite you with passion for your work and show you how to disciple others through that thing. You can do any legitimate job for His glory and to make Him known.

Are you passionate about what you are doing today? If not, ask Holy Spirit to show you how your role can have a kingdom impact on people's lives. Let Him show you how you can use your skills, gifts, talents and resources to Make Jesus known. You have a purpose, destiny and inheritance. What you do is important to the lives of those you are called to minister to. You are alive today to make known the kingdom of God. He wants you to have a passion for that.

I still need to raise support for my personal finances. I need another $1,000 before I return Sept 20th. I would also like to see several of the school children sponsored before my return. If you would like to help with either of these things you can contact me at 779-227-3812 or email me at thegeokr@yahoo.com If you would like to send support you can mail it to

Life Church Morris
c/o Guatemala Missions Fund, ongoing
P.O. Box 679
Morris, IL 60450

Thank you all and I pray that you find a kingdom purpose and the Father's passion for the work He has called you to today.

Just hanging out with some friends

Replacing a house in Zapote