Why Me

I have been thinking about a lot of things this last few weeks, reflecting on the year that we are completing and wondering why God chose me for this role. Why am I the one that is living far from home, getting to see God do such amazing things and having a part in all of it. Why did God choose me?

As I ask that question I realize something. He chose me because He chooses all of us. I am doing something that I love and know that I was created for because all of us were created for a purpose. None of us is here by accident but we have reason for being and destiny programmed into us. Some of us are called to go to another place and live with people that speak a different language and have different customs than we grew up with. Some are called to be nurses or mechanics. Others are called to be pastors or school teachers. None of us are called to mere existence. I have stepped into what I am created to be and so can you.

How do I know what I was called to do? First we have to have a relationship with the Creator. Who but the one that designed us would know what we were made for. Without Jesus, we may stumble along and find our passion but we will never find our destiny. They are tied together but are not the same thing. Our passion gives us power and vision for our work but our destiny will cause our work to impact the lives of people for eternity. We will enjoy working in our passion but we will find fulfillment in our destiny. Obedience to the leading of the Holy Spirit will bring these two together.

When we let God lead our steps, He will direct us into the place that He can use our lives to build His kingdom. As we are active in building His Kingdom, we are also building our own inheritance. He told us to store up for ourselves treasures in Heaven where thieves could not steal and moths and rust could not destroy. We will also find a sense of fulfillment in knowing that we are leaving the world better than we found it. People will have a hope that they previously did not have because we are walking in what God created us to be. When we walk in His purposes, we become the salt and light that Jesus called us in Matthew 5.

Today, did you get up with a sense of purpose and destiny? Do you feel like your life will matter long after you are gone? Did you dread getting out of bed to face another long tedious day? That is not what God created you to do. Ask Him how to escape the rat race and walk into purpose and destiny. I am not telling everyone to quit their jobs. Some of you are working 9 to 5 and are exactly where God created you to be. Where you are is impacting people for  His Kingdom. Some of you are in ministry and hate what you are doing. You chose a career because you believed the lie of sacred vs secular and now feel like a failure or disappointment because you want out. All of our labor is to be as an act of worship to God but it can only be worship if we are there in obedience to His plan for our lives.

I know that I am here because God has called me to be. Sometimes I worry about what the future will be. I am dependent on things beyond my control like finances. I do not have the material possessions and resources that I had when I worked at a regular job. I no longer have a 401 K. I am not sure about what I will be doing tomorrow but I know I am to be here today. I believe that God has me here and the proof is that He keeps putting it on people's hearts to support the work I do but even more, He keeps producing fruit and I get to rejoice at seeing it and knowing that He is working through all of our inadequate efforts to grow His Kingdom all around us. I am grateful for how God is using my life and pray that today you can say the same thing. If not, ask Him to help you set a new direction, one that will cause you to be on the path of purpose and destiny.

This year, many of you have supported me and the work that we are doing here in Guatemala and I am eternally grateful. Next year I am praying that will continue and increase. We will be doing more work and my personal needs still exist. It is coming to the point where I really need to get reliable transportation and will eventually need to find a place to live, though that could be quite a ways down the road yet. Pray for me and for our work. My financial goal for me next year is $17,000. This is much higher because it includes the purchase of a vehicle. I would also love to raise $15,000 for the school at Membrillal to finish next year strong financially. I will be writing about these things more in the coming weeks and will tell you more about how you can be involved. For now, if you would like to help me personally, you can send support to

Life Church Morris
C/O Guatemala Missions Fund
P.O. Box 679
Morris, IL 60450

The pictures have little to do with our work this year but they are just some fun ones that I liked and thought that you may enjoy as well.

Soon I will be telling you how you can help the school and the students for next year.

Thank you all

Time for a little maintenance

The last couple of weeks you may have seen some of the pictures that I posted from the schools. With a group of college students from Minnesota, we have been painting both schools. Membrillal had never been painted and Zapote was looking really bad. The walls were covered in greasy fingerprints and volcanic ash. Every building needs a little maintenance and freshening up from time to time. We are not finished yet but because of other things going on we are taking a few days for a break.

On Saturday I was talking to the pastor in my home Church and he asked me how I was doing and I told him that we had been very busy for the last month. There really had not been a lot of free time to relax but that we were getting a lot done. He asked my what I was doing to rest and to restore myself. I had to admit that I had not been thinking much about those things because the opportunities had not presented themselves very often.

As I have been thinking about his question and the work we have been doing, I realized that we are in many ways like the school buildings. They need time set aside for repairs, repainting and thorough cleaning. Without these times they will get more dirty and fall into disrepair. They need to have focused attention on their needs if they are going to last for many decades. Without attention, they will not be able to be used for their intended purposes for very long. The will become dilapidated and unsafe. The rain, mold, dirt and bugs will begin take over.

I feel like I need to spend time recognizing these needs in my own life. Jesus promised that if we would come to Him, He would give us rest. In Ps 127:1+2 we see that our work is in vain unless God is protecting it and that He wants to be at the center of all so He an lead us into rest. In Ps 23 we read that the Lord is a shepherd that leads us, cares for us, and restores us. In Ps 91 we see that the Lord desires us to hide ourselves in Him and see His salvation, provision, protection and rest.  I think I need to spend some time meditating on these passages and letting them lead me to the one who is rest for my soul.

I know a lot of people, myself included get busy and say they do not have time for this rest. We try to spend 10 minutes with God before we rush out to some activity then do not understand why we have no strength or energy. David knew that the secret was to have time for quiet rest, focused on God. He was the king of a nation with a lot of enemies. He had a large army and many family squabbles going on but he took time out of his schedule for retreats with the Lord. If David could do it, should we also not find a way to plan our days around building intimacy and drawing strength for Jesus.

I am not going to write a lot more but I want to share these verses with you and ask you are you rested? Do you have time for intimacy with Jesus this week? Are you hidden away in the secret place of the Most High? Or, Are you tired, running on fumes and barely surviving each days load?

My Refuge and My Fortress

Ps 91:1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High

will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say to the LORD, “My refuge and my fortress,

my God, in whom I trust.”

 

3 For he will deliver you from the snare of the fowler

and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his pinions,

and under his wings you will find refuge;

his faithfulness is a shield and buckler.

5 You will not fear the terror of the night,

nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in darkness,

nor the destruction that wastes at noonday.

 

7 A thousand may fall at your side,

ten thousand at your right hand,

but it will not come near you.

8 You will only look with your eyes

and see the recompense of the wicked.

 

9 Because you have made the LORD your dwelling place—

the Most High, who is my refuge

10 no evil shall be allowed to befall you,

no plague come near your tent.

 

11 For he will command his angels concerning you

to guard you in all your ways.

12 On their hands they will bear you up,

lest you strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread on the lion and the adder;

the young lion and the serpent you will trample underfoot.

 

14 “Because he holds fast to me in love, I will deliver him;

I will protect him, because he knows my name.

15 When he calls to me, I will answer him;

I will be with him in trouble;

I will rescue him and honor him.

16 With long life I will satisfy him

and show him my salvation.”

 

Positioned to Receive Love

When I was much younger I had 2 experiences at Church retreats that impacted me greatly and helped me, at that time to really understand that I had a Heavenly Father and the He loved me a lot. I knew I was not just created to serve but that I was called to live as a son in my Father's love.  I do not know about you, but I often find that these God moments in my life lose their effect on me over time if I do not spend time meditating on what God is showing me and pursuing it. This experience was one of those things. As I got busy I began to look at myself as a servant primarily. I began to lose the sense of security that came from knowing my place in my Father's heart.

The last few weeks have been a refresher crash course and it has come unexpectedly and in a very unusual way. It began when my Church was here and intensified with the college group that is here right now. While my Church was here we spent most days working but one day there was only a couple of projects for me and I was finished with them quickly. After the projects I got to spend a lot of times with the kids from the school and that had come to the clinic. I really enjoyed getting to hang out with them and just play with them. The day did not really impact me at the time because it is a fairly normal occurrence. I get to play with the kids at Membrillal a lot.

This last week was where I really began to see what God was trying to show me. We went to Zapote to paint the first floor of the school. It is a pretty big task to non painters but it was a very needed task. It gets painted almost every year but because of the humidity and the always present volcanic dust in the air it looks dirty within a few months. This was a job that needed to be done and I was excited to see the transformation that fresh paint brings. I was ready to throw myself into this work and get it done.

One thing that I know is that when I go to the schools I will hear my name countless times during the day. This week was like that. Everywhere I went the kids, especially the younger ones called me. When I stopped, they climbed on me. I could not forget that I was at a school because I was surrounded by children calling me from inside their classrooms, at lunch, out on the playground and everywhere I went. They all wanted hang from my arms or arm wrestle me. At times I was arm wrestling one on each arm and at others I had one hanging from each bicep. I was feeling a little bit guilty. They were supposed to be focused on school and I was supposed to be working. My desire to play often won out and the kids got my attention.

You may be thinking that was irresponsible and you might be right but God began to show me His heart in this. He loves when we (I) come to Him just to be in His presence, to say look at me to ask Him "do you notice me"? He wants us to ask if we matter because He loves revealing Himself and His love to us. As I realized how attention starved may of these kids are I realized I to feel attention starved. I was feeling like maybe I did not matter to God. I began to see that as I love being with the kids and crave that time just to focus on them and tell them that they matter enough to interrupt my work God feels that way about me. I matter and He loves to be interrupted by me as I just stop and call out to Him. He wants to show us love and affirmation. He wants to reveal His love when we are not expecting it and He gladly sets us at the center of His attention when we come to Him. He loves to be a good dad to His kids.

This lesson was intensified when I ran into one of the local town drunks. He frequently tells me loudly that he loves me as he is asking for food or money. I will often buy him food or water because he is poisoning his system with rubbing alcohol. I never give him money because it will just go to more alcohol. I will talk with him and pray for him because he usually asks but my attitude towards him is often not good. I want to shake him and make him quit destroying his life. God reminded me that this man to was created in His image, was created to reflect an aspect of God to the world and he has a Father that is just waiting for him to surrender and call out to Him. Father wants this man to know His love and have a testimony of sonship to share with the world. I was wrong and I needed to let God love this man through me the same way that He loves the kids.

I am learning that God wants to reveal His love to me. He wants to show me His heart for me in new and extravagant ways. He wants me to walk in security as His son. The way that he is doing it is by putting me in positions to be a living demonstration of His love to others. As I allow myself to be used in this way in other people's  lives, He intensifies my understanding of His love for me. I am not a servant but a son. I choose  to serve and in that I learn more what it means to be loved. I pray that God gives me the strength for this work for many more years because I sense that there are many layers to His love that I have not begun to explore and many people that I still need to encounter to have a better understanding of this incredible love He offers.

Many of you struggle with knowing that you are loved. You serve but feel like nothing more than a slave. You feel used and abused by those that you care for. Give it up. Ask God to show you that every work you are called to is secondary to the people that you encounter while doing it. Every accomplishment is nothing if it does not build relationships with people and help you see God's love more clearly. We exist and are called for one reason. To receive our Father's love and give it to all that we encounter. If we do this, we have succeeded in all God has for us.

You Must Go Now

Guillermo Paul, First CMA missionary to Guatemala

I have been back in Guatemala for two packed weeks now. From the first morning that I got out of bed there has been constant activity and I have enjoyed it all very much. The first week there was a conference for the CMA in Panajachel. I got to go and sit in meetings and listen to Pastors and leaders share their vision for the Churches commission to evangelize and make disciples in their own communities and in the world. It was a great time to meet many of the leaders in the Alliance from all over Central America.

On Friday, the 25th I took the last pastors that were still with us to catch a bus back to El Salvador and then went immediately to the airport to pick up a team from my home Church in the States. Life Church Morris sent 9 people to us and we were joined by a friends from  Morris, El Salvador and Guatemala. We were a very international team. While the group was together we were able to build a house and stove in Zapote the first two days and conduct a medical clinic and work on the Church building in Membrillal the last three work days.

Rudy looking at the river while it was rising.

The team was able to experience the joy of rainy season while we worked in Zapote. The first day while we were getting the posts set we could see the rain was coming. Because we have to cross 4 rivers with no bridge we started to pack up and leave as soon as the rain began. We were out to the main road about 45 minutes after the first raindrops fell. We drove through a lot of standing water but the rivers were okay and so we had no problem.

The second day was a little more eventful. At lunch time we figured the house would be done very quickly and we would be headed home. The sky was clear and there was not much work left to do. After we ate lunch we were making good progress but we could see a storm moving in quickly. Pastor Jose Luis told us we had to go NOW even though no rain had fallen yet. We packed up and hurried to get a few things from the Church and left. The rain started after we were in the vehicles and it was not raining nearly as hard as the previous day until we were almost out. You can imagine our surprise when we rounded the curve to the last river and it was about 2 feet higher than normal. We were stuck. We had made it to within a mile of safe travel and were were going nowhere.

We sat for the next 3 hours watching the rain pour down and the river continue to rise and fall. After about 2  1/2 hours it had fallen enough so that  people could cross by jumping from high rocks to other high rocks and we watched a steady stream of people do just that. Unfortunately for us, we could not cross that easily because the entrance to and exit exit from the river had both been washed away. The dirt ramps were gone. There was a 5' wall of dirt where the exit ramp had been. After the rain stopped a large end loader from the gravel company came down and repaired the road enough so that we could get through. We did not know how long we would have to sit but I think that I can speak for everyone when I say we were relieved when that end loader came and opened a way for us.

Heading to lunch in Zapote

In talking to the team we had, I think that it is safe to say that every one's favorite part of this whole trip was the people that they got to see and meet. My Church has heard many stories but they were able to puts names and faces to the people being served. They were no longer poor people or poor Guatemaltecos but they were people that had lives and families. They were people that felt and cared. They became real people to them. They now have a burden for and a love of these people that they did not know until after they met them.

Crowded work site. New house will be built on the left

If you are supporting people in ministry or are giving to organizations that help people, I want to encourage you to consider going for a visit or putting together a team to go work in the areas that your money is going to. It is a blessing to see that your money is going to transform lives and communities. It also helps you to have a vision for why some of us crazy folks want to be where we are and to continue doing the things we are doing. I believe God will reward your generosity and do not want to downplay that because it is important but I believe He also wants to fill your heart with love for people you have not yet met. Pray about it.

Line for the clinic

I also want to ask you to be praying for Guatemala and the people of Santa Catarina Pinula.  You may have seen the reports of the mudslides there. They have devastated the community. There are 125 confirmed dead as of this morning and 300 still missing. There is little hope of more survivors. Some of the town is under as much as 50' of mud. They are searching with dogs and digging with everything from shovels and hoes to heavy equipment. Many people have lost their families and all of their possessions in a matter of minutes. Pray that God will heal hearts and save many lost people through this tragedy. Also be praying that the people will have their material needs met as they try to rebuild their lives.

Thank you for all of your prayers, encouragement, for sending Church members to work with me and for your support.

A Word of Encouragement, Life is to short

As I am preparing to leave I have spent a lot of time thinking about a comment that I frequently hear. I do not hear this comment occasionally or even regularly. It seems like I hear it several times a day. What is this comment you may ask. "I wish I could do what you are doing but..................".  For Christians, I believe the desire to go is wired into our DNA. When we receive Jesus as our Lord, He puts His desire in us and part of that desire is to advance His Kingdom. For 3 1/2 years on this Earth, Jesus promoted the Kingdom continually and in John 17 when He prayed for His disciples He prayed that they and all that come after would be united with Him and the Father in this purpose.

If we are directed to preach the Kingdom and make disciples and we are empowered for the task, why does it seem like nobody can go. The world has filled us with priorities that keep us from going but there are other reasons too. Some people tell me they can't go because of kids or work. Others have a responsibility at home that keeps them from being able to get away. For many the issue is fear of the unknown or maybe a lack of funds. The reasons that limit people are numerous but I want to tell you that God has an answer for you.

If you have a desire to go and a reason not to go, God has a plan for dealing with the reason. If you will commit to following through on the desire, He will show you how it will work. You need to continue pressing forward and let Him fill in the holes in your plan. I have seen people go on missions trips that told me it was impossible.  I have seen finances come in when bank accounts were empty. I have seen people bring young children with them and others have a family member take care of their children for 2 weeks so they could go. I have seen jobs change people's schedules to accommodate. I left for a missions trip less than 2 weeks after my last chemo session. For every reason, God has an answer if you will let Him give it to you.

I am not trying to lay a guilt trip on anyone or tell anyone that they are called to long term missions. I just want to encourage you that it is possible and that God is only waiting for your desire to propel you to action. When you take a step, He will start moving things in your direction to make it possible.

Many of you will ask "why me". Can't someone else go? You believe that it is easier for someone else or that they have more options in life than you. That is not true. Leaving your life for a few days or forever is inconvenient for everyone. There are rewards though. We all have friends and relatives that do not have a relationship with Jesus, We pray for them and even share the Gospel with them but they do not respond. I want you to think about something. The world is waiting to see Jesus in action. They want to see love demonstrated and they are waiting to see people radically transformed by the Gospel. Your family may be waiting to see how the Gospel affects you. When they see you stepping out they will take notice. For many, I believe it will make a bigger impact than anything you say.

The other reason that I think you should consider going now, in the face of all of life's difficult circumstances is that time is short on earth. We each have a finite number of days and when they are gone, we will have missed the opportunity. You cannot go back when it is over and change things. All you can do is encourage others not to follow your mistakes. I did not go on my first missions trip until I was 35 and did not start consistently doing missions until I was 40. I regret all of those young healthy years that I was pursuing my own agenda. I have never regretted going but have often regretted missed opportunities. I pray that you begin exploring you desires to go and remind yourself that God is bigger than any reason you can't.

I love you all and want you to experience the joy of ministering in another land. I am not telling you that you are called to uproot and go. but I do want to encourage you to begin exploring your dreams and desires.

Off again

It seems like it is hard to get settled in these days. Whether I am in Illinois or Guatemala, I know that is a short time I will be leaving. I have been in Illinois for six weeks now and will be leaving again in less than two. I have had a great time here and I love catching up with my family and friends. I have been able to spend time with two of my three sisters, my parents, Church family and many friends. It has been a blessing and is going to be hard to leave. I am blessed to have such an amazing support system here and they encourage me more than I can express. I love all of you.

I am doubly blessed though. While I am leaving this incredible group of people here, I will be heading to another home. I am no longer visiting when I go to Guatemala. God has blessed me with a second family there. I have been taken into the family of Iglesia Galilea and I know that I am loved there as well. When I return, I am still surrounded by the love and support of brothers and sisters. I am reminded that Jesus promsed never to leave us or forsake us. Not only has He sent His Holy Spirit, but He surrounds us with physical manifestations of His love in the people that He brings into our life. I am grateful to have a second family that I know loves me.

When I return we will work with three additional teams this year. First, my home Church is coming and it is going to be a blessing. There is a group coming to work on construction projects and a medical clinic in Membrillal. Then in October we will help another organizations team as they conduct a medical clinic at our shared school in Zapote. Because many do not have access to good health care, these clinics are needed and are often the only time many of these people will see a doctor. Then we will close out November and our teams for the year with a construction team from South Mountain Church out of Utah. We will have about 4 weeks work in the 8 that I will be there.

I am looking forward to closing out the year strong and then relaxing in Illinois with family and friends through the holidays. I believe that it will be a great end to the look forward to sharing many of you.

I still need to raise about $700  for the rest of this year. I have received several hundred dollars  since my last post but I finding airline tickets unusually expensive for my return dates. While I was able to do everything that I needed to in the first half of the year, I fell about $3,000 short of my overall goal. This kept me from being able to do several of the things that I needed to like going to Spanish school and getting some form of transportation, both of which I will need to address next year. If you would consider praying about supporting me in this work, I would greatly appreciate it. You can contact me at 779-227-3812 or email me at thegeokr@yahoo.com If you would like to send support you can mail it to

Life Church Morris
c/o Guatemala Missions Fund, ongoing
P.O. Box 679
Morris, IL 60450

Serving with Passion

I have shared with you many of the projects that we are doing. I have written about houses, stoves, schools, clinics, Churches and hydroponics. I have tried to keep you informed of the things that we are doing but today I wanted to talk about motivation. The why behind all of the whats. What is the motivation for leaving the comforts of Illinois and my family and friends here.That is a good question and some days I ask myself that. I will try and share it as    best I can and pray that you are grabbed with a vision for service yourself.

Let me start by saying I do not love every aspect of the work that we do in Guatemala. I hate spiders, snakes, rats, scorpions and roaches but we encounter them frequently. I do not like to be covered in dirt and muddy sweat. Adventure is overrated when it means you could be stuck overnight away from your bed. 100 lb bags of cement are heavy. There are lots of things that we do on a regular basis that are not high on my list of desired tasks for the day. So WHY do I go?

When I get up many mornings I know the work ahead and I know that it is going to be a difficult day. I want to role over and pretend to not be there but that is not an option. I get up and I go to breakfast with the team. Hopefully it was after spending a little quality time along with God but that does not always happen. It is during breakfast that my perspective on the day changes. I begin to see that there is a purpose and a plan for today that has been taking shape since the beginning of time. Today, God is going to show His love to somebody through this group of people that I am with and I am going to get to be part of that. I am much more excited about the day at this point.

When I start focusing on people, God's love, and being a son to my Father the day takes on a special importance. Who knows, maybe that day there will be a breakthrough of love to one of the kids that I have seen countless times. Possibly God will use our team to bring healing and restoration to a person that has been hurt and abused. What if today is the day that someone we minister to with our words or actions would lay down their life at the cross of Jesus and receive all that He has for them. Today takes on a new meaning and importance that is easy to forget in the business of the work we are doing.

When I let God show me the bigger picture I develop a passion for what we are doing. I have God's heart for the people that we are serving. I see myself as blessed for being able to see the love of God manifest through His children to people that He wants to reveal Himself to. I become passionate about what we are doing because my Father is passionate about it. I get to reap rewards that are beyond what I can comprehend because I am working with Jesus and watching Him move in people's lives.

God has called us all to serve Him but not as slaves. He wants us to see the big picture and know what He is doing. He wants to ignite His passion in us for those that He came to save. He wants to partner with us to make His name known. God wants to give us an inheritance and fill our lives with brothers and sisters to share it with. God does not want us to spend our lives in meaningless tasks but wants us to see that whatever He has called us to should be used to draw people to Him. If you are a teacher, carpenter, mechanic or garbage ruck driver, God wants to ignite you with passion for your work and show you how to disciple others through that thing. You can do any legitimate job for His glory and to make Him known.

Are you passionate about what you are doing today? If not, ask Holy Spirit to show you how your role can have a kingdom impact on people's lives. Let Him show you how you can use your skills, gifts, talents and resources to Make Jesus known. You have a purpose, destiny and inheritance. What you do is important to the lives of those you are called to minister to. You are alive today to make known the kingdom of God. He wants you to have a passion for that.

I still need to raise support for my personal finances. I need another $1,000 before I return Sept 20th. I would also like to see several of the school children sponsored before my return. If you would like to help with either of these things you can contact me at 779-227-3812 or email me at thegeokr@yahoo.com If you would like to send support you can mail it to

Life Church Morris
c/o Guatemala Missions Fund, ongoing
P.O. Box 679
Morris, IL 60450

Thank you all and I pray that you find a kingdom purpose and the Father's passion for the work He has called you to today.

Just hanging out with some friends

Replacing a house in Zapote